Bad Blogger, Hari Kari, and The Holidays

I'm aware of the lack of new and entertaining posts around here.

I'm aware that I haven't been a good blog friend. You all deserve much more than the drive by post viewing with no comment left behind that I've been doing.

All I can say is, I'm sorry. Internet, I love you, and hate neglecting you.

I wish I could promise that I will be fresh, charming, witty, and pee your pants funny with new posts EVERY SINGLE DAY!

But I can't. I'm crazy busy this time of year. In addition to my regular schedule, there are a shit load of Christmas parties to attend, gifts to purchase, a Christmas Day open house to ready for, baking, cooking, drinking, and eleventy-thousand presents to wrap.

Throw in an early blizzard, wind chill factors (that have me seriously thinking those global warming people are all smoking fucking crack), and my baby sister having heart surgery after a mild heart attack on Saturday.

Do you know what you get? A Dutchess that barely has time for a good shit and hot shower, that's what.

I doubt life will slow down until I've been driven over the goddamn edge and committed hari kari with the fucking scotch tape after the holidays.

Unfortunately, that means that you all will have to put up with this sporadic mediocrity and more drive by's for a couple more weeks.

However, I will make it up to you all at the party, and buy you a pretty pink pony, for being so patient.

What party?

Well.... Do you want to party like a rockstar Royal on New Year's Eve? Of course you do! (If not, you are a fuckstick)

Here is your chance. GO HERE RIGHT NOW . You will find all of the details and what not's. It's going to be a huge blow out full of drunken mayhem and debauchery. You don't want to miss it.

Blow OUT, asshats, not blowjob. .. jeeze!

Until next time, lovers...