There once was a blogger named Dutchess
Many said she was truly fucking scrumptious
Through the blogosphere she would go
Drinking, cussing, smoking, and so.
This bitch sure knew how to raise a big ruckus.
Then, very much and quite out of the blue
Dutch stumbled upon an old crazy lady in a shoe.
A farm in Nebraska is where she was from
where shoot first and ask later was her rule of thumb.
EMT, farmer and Queen are only some of the jobs she could do.
Fast friends and kindred spirits they quickly became
It was obvious to all they must have the same family name
Pretty soon they were plotting, scheming and hatching a plan
World domination was too hard so that plan they shit-canned.
The world wide web was destine to be their claim to fame.
Through hangovers, wannabes and Internet trolls
The Sisters with a beer tab crown did reach their goals.
A kick ass empire they did build
A palace with gators and the gin was always chilled.
Believe it or not, the entire Kingdom was supported by Ho's.
Parties, road trips, and special brownies they perfected
Famous or just infamous, they were socially connected.
Some have tried to overthrow them, copy and destroy
Silly fucking bitches will never hold a candle to the real McCoy.
They will chew you up, spit you out and you'll be rejected.
So on this drunken St. Patrick's day
Hoist your green beer and let's all say
Long live the Dutchess and the drunken Queen
Funny, witty, charming, and always a little obscene.
May you reign forever and a day.
To all you lurkers, readers, family and loyal fans
Thank you for being a part of our crazy ass plans
Without you all, we wouldn't be here
Corrupting the entire friggin' blogosphere.
For now we'll just get drunk, because we can!
Happy St. Paddy's Day all!