Friday, April 5, 2013

Oh The Random

Well, hey there gang!  The Queen has ordered us to do a" Weekend Randomness " post, so I thought I'd oblige.

Did you know a clam can switch its gender fro male to female, and does a few times in it's life...Well, ain't that a bitch...or a bastard, depending on the clam's day.

Why do they sterilize needles for a lethal injection?

Why do people say they slept like a baby when most babies wake up crying every 3 fucking hours?

An ant will scratch himself when he wakes up...wonder what it's next trick will be.

Why the hell do the banks charge you a fee for insufficient funds when they know there is not enough in the first place?

Who was the smart ass that decided to put a "s" in the word lisp?

Why do people pay money to go up to the Empire State Building just to stick money in the binoculars and look at shit on the ground?

Who was the first person that looked at a chicken and said, "I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of it's ass."

Why do we point to our wrist when asking someone for the time, but we don't point to our ass when asking where a bathroom is?

Why does the gynecologist leave the room when you take your clothes off when they are just going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand upright but Pluto walks on all fours?  They are BOTH dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (snicker)

Why does the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on....

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality comes from morons?

A dairy cow will produce milk faster when listening to music.  I guess having your utter pulled constantly is stressful.  What the hell do you play for a dairy cow?
**Milk Cow Blues by Willie Nelson?
**Cow Hooking Blues by Mississippi John Hurt?
**Crippled Cow by Kris Kristofferson?
**Tootin on the Hooters by Dr. Dre?
**My Humps by Black Eyed Peas?

I could do this all night, but, I have an early gig tomorrow.

Hook up with the Queen and get your random on!

Until next Time~~


  1. I choked on the chicken bit..then OMG I was all WTF is she talking about. then I sang them.. and yup.. the bitch was right.. thanks for joining in Randomness Weekend.. you rock

  2. lol. Thanks Queenie. Love your hooker face!

    1. I was sitting here drinking, and thinking.. and the badge looks like ass cracks. I liked it to start with, not I fell in love with. Hooker ass cracks on my badge. What could be better!

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  4. That was cute...and funny!!Loved it.

  5. lol Queenie!

    Thanks Colorado!

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