Friday, June 14, 2013

The Girls Are Super Freaks!

While I was passed out drunk, busy, the other day, The Queen decided to wander off by herself and roam the world wide web.  That?  Never fucking turns out well.  She found a few MEME's and, for shits and giggles, decided to join in.

I've told her a million godamn times to stay on our side of the tracks, but the bitch never listens!  I'm not sure of the who, what, or where, but when I finally came to found The Queen, she was all excited and mumbling something about flags, freaks, and Royal Style MEMEs.

After an extra large mug of Irish coffee and a brownie, I understood what she was rambling about.

You see, after she participated in a few normal people memes on the Internet, The Royal Family was asked to participate, but to do it Royal Style, and um...with a different link up.

In other words, the rest of the blog-o-sphere loves to read The Royal Family, but they don't want to be seen playing in the same skanky sandbox with us.

At first I was a bit pissed off.  Dammit!  We're cool!  We have kick ass shoes!  We have alcohol, hookers, and goodies! (Oh My!)  What's not to fucking like?  Why don't you assholes want everyone to know you like us?

Then, mid-whine, I remembered that even next to the Insane AssClown Posse, we tend to come off as some rowdy ass cray-cray stoner freaks that drink too much, say too much and have turned cussing into a motherfucking art form!

We are fun, but you can't bring us to work, or to meet your family.  Hell, we're legally required to register with 3 different states when we all get together, and The Queen  and I have been banned from Texas and Utah for life!

OK, you win.
Without further adieu, I bring you Freaky Friday Fill In--Royal Style.

1.  I woke up this morning only to find I had overslept and missed my secret brownie spice delivery because the motherfucking alarm clock didn't go off.
2.  As I jumped out of bed and ran for the kick ass Batmobile so I could catch up with the asswipe of a delivery man,  I noticed that the godamn Wienermobile was parked behind me.  Fuckity-fuck!
3.  Later, when the phone rang, it was Clyde asking me to bring the Wienermobile and my drunken stoner ass back to the castle.
4.  Finally, after  driving the Wienermobile around all morning in my pajamas, while rocking some crazy ass bed head, looking for my shitty secret spice delivery driver, I found out that the House Hookers thought it would be fun to prank my ass.  They reset my freaking alarm clock two hours ahead of the real time!
5.  So I turned the Wienermobile around, put the pedal to the metal and hauled ass back to the castle.  With my motherfucking Wiener skidding around the corner of the driveway on two wheels, and my ass hanging out the window, I told them to kiss my hairy ass, sleep with one wonky eye open and never ask for another brownie!

TAG!  You're it!  CLICK HERE FOR THE FREAKY FILL IN DIRECTIONS.  Grab the badge, fill in the blanks, and leave a comment on The Queen's blog so we can stalk check out your Freaky Friday Fill Ins.

~~Until Next Time~~


  1. OMG I knew I could count on you to blow this out of the water.. I have tears rolling down my face I'm laughing so damn hard. Unless someone tops that , I added up the points.. and you are so far ahead of Kat and I that there is no hope we can win. Love ya. Enjoy Sunday. I'll be drunk!

  2. Thanks, Sis! I seem to have my best creative moments after midnight. Maybe it's just because I'm so drunk by then, I think the dog talks to me, and that bitch is funny!
    Love ya honey!

  3. haha! love it love it! You had me at Weinermobile.

    1. Right! Who doesn't love a good Weinermobile story! lol


  4. I think I actually made wee wee when I read about your hairy ass out the window....
    close the gate...we have a winner!