There are rules to this shit, but we all know I don't do rules, so click on the button and check them out.
Now, on with the show.
Here are the 5 Naughty Questions:
1. When did you first realize you had a naughty streak?
I was born naughty for shit sake, but I guess I realized it at age 5. The first day of kindergarten a boy in my class asked me to be his girlfriend. He said he would bring me a candy necklace if I said yes. Of course I said yes. At nap time we put our mats next to each other. No, you fucking pervs, nothing happened, I was 5 years old!
On the walk home, (yes, we actually walked to and from school without our parents, back in the day), a blond boy...a first grade blond boy, said I was pretty and funny and then he kissed my cheek and asked me to be his girlfriend. He was fucking blond, you know I said yes. The next day boy 1 brought my candy necklace. I took it and then broke up with him. Yep, naughty.
2. Have you ever stolen anything? What? why?
Yes. I broke into my little sister's piggy bank and took twenty buck from her. I just HAD to buy the super neat hot pink rollers for my roller skates before anyone else.
Look, the roller rink was the Facebook of it's time bitches. Your super cool skates (not in-line) told your status, you went to the DJ and dedicated songs that clarified what you liked, you hung out with your besties in the snack bar, and skated to a slow song with the one you were in a relationship with. Now that? Was a social network, assclowns.
3. Have you ever cheated at anything?
In the interest of time and carpel tunnel, I will list the top 3. I cheat at games, my taxes, (up yours IRS assholes!), and on my 1st husband. Fuck you, he was my learner husband; kind of like training wheels for a bike.
4. Your most used position for sex?
After 10 years of marriage, position doesn't matter. On the rare occasion there is not a daughter, grandson, or the Spawn of Satan with his posse of smelly, pimply teenage boys around, the Duke and I throw our clothes off with wild abandon and have hot monkey sex anywhere, and anyway we can. It's the best 6 and a half minutes of my fucking week.
5. One place or thing that's in your fantasies but rarely or never in your sex life.
If you read me, you know it is Kenny Mcimafuckinghotie Chesney.
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