A Rare Saturday Post

Listen up gang bangers/bad-asses/throat punchers and the rest of you kick ass motherfuckers.

The Queen has sent forth a kingdom wide demand request. She wants to assemble a security detail for the Royal Family.

Fuck knows we could use some. Dame Penis has Sir, and he fucking rocks, but even he cannot handle all of our collective bullshit at the same time.

CB aka Princess of Class, Trash and Sass also had a shout out for a few Good Men or Women and you can read about it HERE .

And the Princess of Slut Town also has a few requirements for her security detail input.

To sum it all up, we tend to piss people off. If fuckers would just agree with us and do what the fuck we want them to do, this could all be avoided.

But noooo, there is always a fukstick asswipe in the bunch. Inevitably, said Fuckstick asswipe pisses one of us off, and we end up kicking some serious ass. Then all fucking hell breaks loose.

We tend to pass out, run amok, fall off bar stools and/or lawn chairs, trip on our stilettos, trip over things that jump out at us like modgepodge and art supplies, and occasionally cut, or bruise ourselves from said falling and tripping.

We have also been known to break hearts, faces, random dishes, the bank, car windows, small appliances, and other things thrown in the heat of a drunken moment.

There are times we even fuck up things on our body like toes, vaginas, lips, asses, and... well, you get the idea.

We also tend to have to run from the Po-Po or an angry John at least once a week.

So, as you can see, we need security. Not just any security, but bad ass mother fuckers. Some of you have thrown a hat into the ring to be considered, and here is where you can be of some use.

We are going to allow you asshats to vote!

I know RIIIGHT! Yes, we're awesome that way

That said, and the fact that today is my fucking day off, I'm going to end this here.

GO AND VOTE! NOW!!! WHAT ARE YOU FUCKERS WAITING FOR? The Royal's well being and safety are at stake. GOOOOOOOO!


Now....did someone say steak?