Monday, November 29, 2010

Future Leaders? We Are So Fucked

Whenever I check out at the grocery store, I always grab one of those little slips that add an extra dollar amount to my bill for the local charity. The Duke gives me shit about this all the time.

Duke: "You know you're probably paying for blow and cheap strippers for some fat ass with a bad toupee.," "The amount that actually goes to the needy is 1/2 a goddamn penny."

Me: "I'm buying warm jammies and juicy boxes for homeless babies, so shut your heartless whore mouth AND LET ME HAVE MY DELUSIONS, ASSCLOWN."

Tonight, while the cashier was scanning the donation slip thing, the bagger's face seemed to show a teeny bit of forced interest.

Bagger: "What are those paper slip things?"

Cashier: "It's a donation card."

Bagger: "Oh. I thought it was a coupon."

Ok, I'm mildly interested in where this might go...

Me: "A coupon for what, sweetie?"

Bagger: "That place, you know, The Food Bank."

I smell blog material, so I decided to let this play out.

I make a lot of stupid fucking decisions.

Me: "Do you know what the Food Bank is?"

Bagger: "It's a bank. Where they keep food, ya know? The name says it all, lady."

Me: *blink* *blink* *blink* "How old are you?"

Bagger: "Almost twenty!"

About this time, I noticed another young employee now standing behind the first bagger.

Bagger #2: "Dude! You musta got your friggin' PhP or PC or whatever in 'stupid'! Ha!"

Me: "Just fucking fabulous."

These assholes will, eventually, be running our country.

Me: (turning to the cashier) "Can you hold my cart, please? I forgot the goddamn whiskey, and that just won't do."


  1. Watching some of today's younger generation can certainly send a person running for the booze. It's some scary shit out there.

  2. Today's youth is scary...these are the ones that are going to be responsible for rollin' our asses over in the nursing home. And How'd you go and forget the one thing that you were going to the store for in the first place?

  3. Well sis, you know that niece of mine is about to graduate from high school.. she is going to be a teacher.. if you read her last rant on me...(it's on my personal facebook) You will understand why I never... never... never.. run out of gin.

    I'm not the best speller, but I can spell each and every cuss word correct. it's just wrong if you can't spell shit fuck piss or hell. I'm just saying.. it's sad..

    I blame it on the lack of the belt... you know.. their Dad's should have kept their belts buckled... that kind of belt..

    Forget that ... they are too stupid to beat ... it would be like beat a puppy... just wrong... they should have just said they had a headache that night and kept their belts buckled.

  4. LMAO! Oh so scary! Pass the whiskey, because I am scared shitless now!

  5. Diva, running for the booze, cheesecake and a gun. Dammit, your cheesecake post has invaded my brain...must have cheesecake.

    Donda, I know, right!

    Queen, I will have to check the facebook. People like her shouldn't be allowed to procreate or teach.

    Dame, It's BYOB night, but I'll share.

  6. oh man you made my life!! I fear for our future....

    My last post