Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Message from the Queen!

Hi folks, our beloved Dutchess fell last night and hurt her hip and hand. She will be ok, except we had to hire someone to bake brownies and hold her wine glass.

It appears the hand she fractured is in fact her smoking hand, so we have also provided her with a man to hold her special smokes for her.

The doctors have patched her up and she is mending, but could be a bit before she is able to type.

Bitch had enough problems typing with two fucking hands.

We are concerned that she will want to keep the cabana boy that holds her ciggies for her long after she heals, but we're thinking it will be well worth the cost.

If she has someone to hold her wine while she types,, she can sip,, and blog twice as fast..

Don't forget to wish the bitch a fast recovery.. she likes that shit.. when she's sober enough to read it. It will make her feel good.. oh.. no.. wait.. it's the pain killers and wine that are making her feel good... you guys just make her smile... oh wait.. that may be the pills and wine too..

Oh,, just do it cause it will make you feel good.. k.. nuff said..

Get well soon dear sister.. I hate carrying all the weight of the Royal Kingdom without you.. Your phone will be ringing if I get over whelmed.. and you know how you hate when your phone wakes you up from an awesome dream..

Love ya sister..
the queen..


  1. Oh Dutchess...did you do this for attention? LMAO
    Get well soon lady and here is a special dose of pills for ya!

  2. God woman. When you have healed sufficiently, would you please smack the crap out of the person that made you fall!!!

  3. Oy. Are you sure we aren't on a train wreck, rather than a royal journey of sorts? LOL

  4. Hopes for healing and hey, about the wine swilling ability, get one of those hats that hold a can (or bottle) on each side with a straw to your mouth. I know. I'm always thinking of you.

  5. Seriously are these the lengths we have to go to nowerdays to get a bit of compassion, attention and a personal slave? ;-) get well soon chikidee xx

  6. Dutchess - We've told you you need to throw away the empty wine bottles not just leave them laying all over the floor - Maybe a new task for you cabana boy?!?! ;) Take care of your self, wait strike the - be well taken care of!

  7. Thanks for the well wishes everyone. My hand still fucking huts and my ass is a gorgeous shade of blue, purple and black. Worst of all, openning medicine bottles is all but impossible. This fucking bites