The Dutchess has disappeared. The Royals are quite worried. We sent out the search party to find her.
She was last seen here.
We sent the bartender to check out her wine cellar. It was fully stocked, and untapped. This worried us. We also checked the green house, the plants were starting to die from lack of water. The bartender rushed to the garden hose and saved every plant. Thank God for that. Had the bitch come home to find her plants dead, we would have all been in deep shit!
The body guard searched the castle, thinking maybe she had drowned in the tub with a smile on her face and a glass of wine in her hand. She was not there.
The Vet and the Princesses, searched through her closets. I personally never thought she would be lost in her closets and did not understand this, until I saw them fighting over that hot red set of stiletto shoes! Hey, we won't steal from you, but we will raid each other's closets for purses and shoes if one of us pass out!
The Queen, being the Queen, set her fat ass in the big chair and demanded gin and tonics be brought to her while she decided what the next step would be. After half a bottle of gin, she came up with a plan that would surely bring the Dutchess home!
Queenie put a
call TEXT in to Sir Eats Alot, to bring a U-haul. He backed it up to the door and we started hauling out all the booze and plants from the Dutchess's castle and grounds! Sir, drove it to our personal storage unit.
She then sent a TEXT to Cop Fargo and reported that Dutchess had been robbed and kidnapped! Top Cop, being the loyal cop she is, got right on the case. Last we heard, the Popo, the CIA, and FBI were all on the lookout for a Blue Van, with a crazy brunette hanging out the sunroof screaming...