At first, I thought I was just drunk and seeing thing. Then I realized that the cruise cleaning staff can do amazing things with towels.
The first day, I found this cute seal waiting near the bathroom sink
I found this angel on my bed that evening
and this one, which I think the Queen had something to do with
I seriously hate swans, geese and goats. There was a traumatic zoo incident back in the 70's that I refuse to talk about. Suffice it to say, those fucking things creep me out.
After a slight panic attack, a 5th of Cruzan Rum, and a little somethin' somethin' from my good friend Willie, I calmed down.
The Queen thought it was fucking hilarious. All of a sudden, everywhere I look, there are motherfucking swans...
That's is it. I have to get off this goddamn boat.