Friday, January 13, 2012

The One Where he Dutchess Makes A Declaration

I have come to the conclusion that the Royal Family is going to hell in a hand basket.

Oh, alright then.  We definitely are going to hell, and probably NOT in a hand basket, but I'm referring to a figure of speech, assholes.

Maybe this Royal Family has expanded too much.  We all must walk around thinking, well fuck, there are Eleventy Royal Family members, someone else is bound to post.  Fuck it...BEER ME!

Maybe there are too many goddamn kingdoms to take care of.  Everyone must not have time to post because the flying fucking monkeys went on strike, and the palaces are looking like pig sty's.

Maybe we are spread out too far.  All of the running between castles to see who has the best shoes and booze, leaves no time for a goddamn blog post.

Maybe The Royals have way too many other fucking outside commitments and distractions. (I'm looking at you Facebook, Kindle and Netflix!)

I don't really know.  But I do know this...

I DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT.

Where is my Royal Family of yore? 
The Royal Family that entertained me every fucking day. 
The Royal Family that drank, hung out, and argued together on our blogs.
The Royal Family that posted more than once a goddamn blue moon!

I, your Royal Dutchess, is making a Royal Declaration. 

HEAR YEA, HEAR YEA, ROYALS, YOU'D BETTER START BANGING OUT AT LEAST ONE POST A WEEK, OR ELSE I WILL COME TO YOUR PLACE FOR MY NEXT BATHTUB SESSION, AND IT WON'T BE PRETTY.  IT'S TIME TO DO ...AHEM...LANDSCAPING, AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO USE YOUR FUCKING RAZOR.

Without blogs to read, my on-line shopping is out of control and I spend too much time playing Words with Friends and Family fucking Feud on my iPhone.  Which?  Fuck YOU timer!  Some of us are slow texters.

That is all. 


 

10 comments:

  1. Hey beotch! I've been in Rehab.. but my fearless Clyde has been posting updates all over the damn place.. plus.. I managed to do a guest post from DETOX.. so I'm thinking these young hookers should be able to rip one out at least once a week!

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  2. gotta hate it when your blogging world goes quiet!

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  3. Yeah yeah....bite me girl. The Queen got me addicted to Superpoints, swagbucks and all those other damn sites and it is hard to keep up when I am trying to get enough points and such for a Kindle Fire. Damn Queen won't buy me one!! I even snuck Gin in for her at Detox!
    So take a puff and enjoy this pan of brownies and we ALL better be posting soon!!

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    1. She lies.. She brought me stale crackers dipped in some kind of dark sticky crap.. she tried to tell me it was brownies.. I'VE KNOWN THE DUTCHESS FOREVER.. I know brownies when I taste brownies.. that shit was not brownies!

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    2. Whatever Queen! Those were freaking brownies!!! I even put M&M's in them so you could enjoy them melting in your mouth! LMAO
      Dutchess the Queen lies. I think that Detox messed with her brain...

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  4. I hear you loud and clear sheesh. I do have my hooker duties, the bar to clean, cleaning up after all these drunken circus midgets who cannot handle their booze, on top of trying to keep my svelte figure in tip top shape. You better be glad the tab is open for you after all the work I do around here for what I get in return...when was the last time you gave me some of those brownies huh??? You don't hear me bitching about it, nope cause I'm too fucking busy with all you whores and your crazy ass demands to complain....;)

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    1. You JUST WENT TO THE TOP OF THE LEADER BOARD.. as THE FUNNIEST COMMENTER OF THE CREW! If that didn't make the dutch spit a brownie across the room.. we need to get her more wine!

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  5. You can't make a declaration unless you do it.. lOL.. I'm swamped all week so blogging has taken a back seat... love ya.. it's cold here.. miss ya...

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