I realize I've been missing in action. I really do have a good excuse. You see my much older, but much more beautiful sister, THE QUEEN, found out I was hording the brownie mix. She thought we shared everything but she forgot how very selfish I can be. I don't like sharing the brownie mix or my wine.
Anywho, I took a short vacation and while I was away she talked Clyde in to driving her over here and she started searching my castle for any evidence that I might be hording the goods.
I was kind of embarrassed that she went through that one dresser drawer. Everyone knows what we keep in that drawer. You know the one, right by the bed. Yea, pretty sure the bitch's eyes popped when she saw that big boy!
After bribing Clyde, I did find out that I almost got away with the hording. I knew the bitch hates basements, so my stash would always be safe under the damn basement stairs. I forgot what a drunken stupid ass bitch my sister is.
Appears, she did stumble across my decoy stash of wine, which she drank. Once she had torn my castle apart looking for anything else I had that she might want, such as shoes, purses, fur coats, she decided she had to pee.
She yelled at Clyde to fire up the bat mobile and she would be right there. She yanked open what the drunken bitch thought, was the bathroom door, stepped in.. and fell down the stairs. As the crazy drunken bitch was crawling around on my basement floor looking for the john, she found my stash.
She came unglued and set a trap for me! When I returned from vacation, she threw the net over me, dragged me to the cellar and locked the door behind her when she left. I've been slowly chipping away at the walls and have cut out a space big enough to get my arm out and grab my cell phone.
I'm sending this SOS from the Queen's cellar. Please send wine! Thanks..