Saturday, March 23, 2013

Ressurrection, Rehab and A Reunion

Why is there no dates for posts on the new blogger?  Don't they know that makes my OCD kick into high gear?!  I'm putting it on myself, fuck them.

March 22, 2013

Well hi there hookers!

I can no longer take the whining, begging, and crying about how much you miss me, how you can't live without me, and how your life isn't worth living with out The Dutchess around.  So, in order to keep you fuckers from flinging yourselves off a rooftop, (or table top, whatevs), I, your Dutchess, have decided to come out of retirement.

Simmer down now!  I know your excited, but we have to get a few things straight, right off the bat, m'kay?

1.  I have a husband, "The Duke", 2 grown daughters, "The Ice Princess" and "Princess Pandemonium" a son, "The Court Jester", a grandson, "Prince Charming", an ailing Mom, "Mother Dutchess", and three little chihuahuas, "The 3 Amigo's".  I'm very busty busy, but will try and post 4-5 times a week.  More, if you are lucky, less if I'm getting lucky. What?!  I'm old, the Duke is old and we have 2 grown kids that live with us.  Magic rarely happens, but when it does, I'm all in.

2.   Because I'm busy and I'm an old lady, I need my daily naps. If I only have enough time in a certain day to either blog or nap?  You fuckers loose, too bad.

3.  I'm old, ornery, and constipated cuss.  If that's not your bag, don't be a hater, cunt nugget or troll, just get the fuck out.

Now that that's all straightened out, onward and upward, shall we?

If you all have been reading my lovely sister,  The Queen's, blog, (and if you haven't, what the fuck is wrong with you, asshats?), then you know that those goddamn ungrateful hookers tricked us and sent us to  REHAB.

Too bad the joke is on them.  We have the real beer tab crown with us, and, we left the castle infested with fruit flies, Making homemade wine is hard, yo!  Who knew all those grapes would attract a plague of fruit flies?  So, this place isn't too bad for now.  Hell, they even took Queenie to a shooting range and gave her a gun yesterday.  And? I'm on KP duty, which means I'm perfecting my new Island brownies.  Seems like a win - win to me.

Silly Hookers, tricks are for kids!

The Queen and I are planning a Family Reunion for sometime this Summer.  We're declaring all family members must come out of retirement for one day.  That is going to take some threatening, bribing and blackmailing planning, so stay tuned kids.


Until next time,
XOXO

4 comments:

  1. I had the key so I sneaked in and fixed your date and time thingy.

    I'm so happy you decided to call a family reunion that I peed.. sorry about that.. but hey bitch, you wanted the bottom bunk..

    I'm kinda groovin on rehab. I had a dream last night about that blue eyed guard that is fresh out of college.

    P.S. That last bunch of brownies you made, may have been the best yet.

    PP.SS. Did you hear about PWT bragging about her new alligator wardrobe? I'm a bit concerned about that shit!

    ReplyDelete
  2. My OCD thanks you, honey. However, I figure you owe me that much for making me take the bottom bunk.

    Speaking of, I've ordered a plastic sheet for you and until it, or you package if Depends arrives, I'm sleeping with...uh..I mean... IN the guard shack.

    As far as the gators go, well, gators are a goddman dime a dozen. We'll get new ones.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hot damn!!! It is about time. Now to get my lazy ass in gear and join the fun...WOOT!!

    ReplyDelete

Followers