March 22, 2013
Well hi there hookers!
I can no longer take the whining, begging, and crying about how much you miss me, how you can't live without me, and how your life isn't worth living with out The Dutchess around. So, in order to keep you fuckers from flinging yourselves off a rooftop, (or table top, whatevs), I, your Dutchess, have decided to come out of retirement.
Simmer down now! I know your excited, but we have to get a few things straight, right off the bat, m'kay?
1. I have a husband, "The Duke", 2 grown daughters, "The Ice Princess" and "Princess Pandemonium" a son, "The Court Jester", a grandson, "Prince Charming", an ailing Mom, "Mother Dutchess", and three little chihuahuas, "The 3 Amigo's". I'm very
2. Because I'm busy and I'm an old lady, I need my daily naps. If I only have enough time in a certain day to either blog or nap? You fuckers loose, too bad.
3. I'm old, ornery, and
Now that that's all straightened out, onward and upward, shall we?
If you all have been reading my lovely sister, The Queen's, blog, (and if you haven't, what the fuck is wrong with you, asshats?), then you know that those goddamn ungrateful hookers tricked us and sent us to REHAB.
Too bad the joke is on them. We have the real beer tab crown with us, and, we left the castle infested with fruit flies, Making homemade wine is hard, yo! Who knew all those grapes would attract a plague of fruit flies? So, this place isn't too bad for now. Hell, they even took Queenie to a shooting range and gave her a gun yesterday. And? I'm on KP duty, which means I'm perfecting my new Island brownies. Seems like a win - win to me.
Silly Hookers, tricks are for kids!
The Queen and I are planning a Family Reunion for sometime this Summer. We're declaring all family members must come out of retirement for one day. That is going to take some
Until next time,