Thursday, July 15, 2010

Because It Says Its A Party

Maybe the title should have been,
Everyone and Their Fucking Mother Is Doing This Blog Bash Shit

Apparently, some teen named, Brittnay Ciara is throwing a goddamn blog bash. I don't know what kind of voodoo-snake oil, white witch poxing abilities, this kid has, but she somehow convinced my Sister and my Skanky Niece to participate.

All I know is that if those two whores are taking time to do it, there must be good booze. That means, the Dutchess is in too, because, well...obviously, I'm all about the booze.

Apparently there are fucking rules for this blog bash, but I've never been about rules. We are suppose to tell you about who we are.

Um well, hmmm. I am a Dutchess that comes from a fucking nutjob fierce Royal Family . I'm married to the Duke, have 3 kids, 2 dogs, saggy tits, hammy arms, and an SUV. I drink, smoke, toke, cuss, and have an obsession with shoes. Trouble, injury, stray cats and assholes seem to follow me as I stumble through my daily life here in Dorkville. It is what it is, bitches.

There are questions for this first goddamn post I'm suppose to answer, so here we go...

1.) Why do you blog?
Because if I kept all of this Dutchess-y goodness to myself, the land of blog would be seriously lacking.

2.) What do you blog about?
Any goddamn thing I want to. I usually dazzle my readers with my drunken drivel witty comments and insight.

3.) What do you find to be the biggest reward you get from blogging?
REWARD???? THERE IS A GODDAMN REWARD FOR BLOGGING? WTF!!!! WHOMEVER FORGOT TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS REWARD SHIT IS GOING TO GET THE HELL BEAT OUT OF THEM. SOMEONE BETTER SEND ME THE RULES ABOUT THIS REWARD SHIT.

4.) How long have you been blogging?
Apparently not long enough to know about the motherfucking reward shit. I started blogging in 2004, then stopped, and was then forced at gun point to start blogging again.

5.) Let's hear the story behind your blog title! :)
I had a contest because I am much to drunk, lazy, high busy to sit around and come up with a name.

Ok, that is it for now. This damn Blog Bash started on Monday, but I'm always on Dutchess time, so suck it. At least I put in a goddamn appearance. Click the button if you'd like to join the Bash. Now fuck off asshats. I hear a cold Corona calling my name. .. the skanky ho better have a goddamn lime.

Blog Bash




8 comments:

  1. Rewards.. it's like the visa points program.. when you get so many points.. you get to fly shit airlines for free.. but only between 11:59 pm on Sunday.. to 12:01 AM on Monday.. short trip.. smoke that wacky fast baby..

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  2. LMFAO!! Have i told you how much i love your whole fucking royal family? lol!

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  3. Love this post!!! I'm a new follower :)

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  4. I love it! I'm your newest follower!

    How did I not know about you before? lol :)

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  5. Shit airlines, huh Sis? wait... I think I'm a stock holder in that airline. Fuck no am I flying in one of those shit boxes.

    Brittney, we love your skanky face too.

    Welcome aboard the drunken crazy train Mommy. Glad to have ya along.

    Amber, my stealth like ninja skills made it possible to slip through the blogosphere unnoticed. Glad you finally found me.

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  6. Yes... I did in fact, FUCK US on this deal.

    As the adopted daughter, niece and sister... I take full responsibility for this obvious and apparent LACK of fucking judgement.

    Just don't let the queen throw me in the dungeon! Pull rank bitch!

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  7. CB, see what happens when you disappear for a few days bitch? You come back all fucking disorientated trying to play blog catch up. You semi-screen all 58799 e-mails waiting for you, forget to take your goddamn xanax and something like this sneaks by your skanky ass.

    Bitch, take a xanax, swig a vodka & cranberry, and pay attention. Queenie is pissed about being told to clean up her blog, and to piss in the right corner. Then she was thrown out of the party. That could have gotten really ugly, good thing she was drunk.

    Might I recommend an ass kissing blog post/tribute to your whore mother,a really great bottle of Gin, a new kick ass purse, and a little extra in her weekly alcohol fund this week.

    Don't worry about the dungeon, I have some survival items stashed down there for times like this.

    I also know where the secret tunnel that gets you the fuck out of there. Don't ask how I know. I'd have to kill you if I told you. love you whore!

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  8. I am so glad I found your blog and your families blog! I went to that Blog Bash and it was the same old shit I have already heard! Give me some new ideas people! LMAO
    I decided to finally start writing what I want on my blog. Screw everyone else(well not literally)
    I have decided to let my inner bitch come out and play and I will be stopping by this blog more often!

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