She's A Demanding Bitch

I'm talking about her...


In the past few days she has ordered us to donate to someone in need, participate in her Question and Answer shit, to play nice with others, and to adopt a new Royal Family Member. If that weren't enough, we have to keep up with her usual "Get to your work corner, Get me a drink, Feed the goddamn gators, and Where is my Xanax."

See what I mean? She is a demanding bitch, huh? However, because I'm afraid of that crazy whore, and I want my hands on that Beer Tab Crown, I placate her ass.

That said, here is the Queen's version on Question and Answer.

1. Do you sit or squat to pee in a public toilet?
I drink so much alcohol that squatting is just asking to fall over. Plus, with the alcohol content that is in my system? The fucking germs don't stand a chance.

2. Do you wipe back to front, or did your Momma teach you to wipe front to back?
Crazy bitch, what the fuck kind of question is that? If she would have installed that goddamn Super-Mega Blow-Out Your Hole Bidet, this wouldn't be a burning need to know question.

3. How many of your fellow bloggers have you become real life friends with? I don't mean you have met face to face, but that you have phone calls with, exchange email or facebook with daily, that kind of things.
Quite a few, actually. But, only on facebook and e-mail. I charge for phone calls and face to face meetings...Sorry, the Whorehouse I live in frowns upon freebies.

4. Do you allow your family to read your blog?
Why, for fuck sake, would I do that? Don't you watch TV? Mutiny never fucking ends well for a Royal Family.

5. If you have a spouse, do they know about your blog?
Again, hell no. The Duke is a fame whore. If he found out about this blog, he'd want to be part of every goddamn post.

6. Do you have a blog posse'? If so, who are they?
Why yes, I do. They are the Royal Family aka The Kansas Posse. They will kill a bitch for sport.

7. Do you post true to life?
Hello? Have you read me? No one could make this shit up. I do reserve the right to be sarcastic though.

8. If you could get one blogger to follow or comment, who would it be?I wonder if Jim Beam has a blog.

9. Did you design your own blog?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Umm, Hello, I'm the Dutchess. I'm technically challenged and I like it that way.

10. How much do you hate these question and answer things?
More than a goddamn Democrat the night before an election.