Thursday, September 30, 2010

BSF, Ms. Ray, and The Weather.

Well, it's finally Friday and you know that means it is time for
One Crazy Brunette Chick
Go read the rules of you intend to play. The Princess of Class, Trash and Sass AKA Crazy Brunette, will fuck you up if you don't.

So, I've been watching late night TV and infomercials again. What?!! My ShamWOW comes in handy after I've worked out on my Total Gym. And, if I spill the fresh glass of juice I just made in the Jack LaLane Juicer? ShamWOW saves the shitty day.

Now, shut your motherfucking pie hole or I will string you up with my Perfect Pilate's Doorway Studio, put your body in my Space bag, and bury you in the back yard under a plethora of fucking Aqua Globes. Ahem...

Anyway, back to late night shiTV. What the fuck is the point of abbreviating something if each and every time you use the thing, you explain what it's short for? You're just making the motherfucking sentence longer and you're ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF ME. Stick that in your EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) and suck it! I'm talking to you Rachel Ray...Fuck you.

Fuck you idiots and your assinine lawsuits
Whaaaaaa... I ate a hamburger and now I'm fat. How was I supposed to know? Whaaaaaa... I didn't realize that I fucking suck at sports and now I'm suing because I got hit by a line drive, didn't win the MVP, or was cut from my high school team. Boo fucking hooo.... I am so fucking incompetent that when my website got dropped from Google for screwing with their system I decided to sue them....

Fucking morons, they sue for the most ridiculous of reasons. I'm just waiting for someone to take a shit and sue a goddamn broccoli farmer somewhere because it smells unpleasant thus causing "severe emotional and psychological distress."

Fuck you Tupperware Lids
My Tupperware lids like to disappear as much as my socks do. It’s just really damn obnoxious and I don’t care to waste time hunting for missing lids. End of story.

Fuck You Mother Nature
All day concert tomorrow, and I am going to freeze my goddamn nipples off. You can not look hot in a motherfucking parka, and if I wore one, where would I hang my nipple tassels that I am going to hypnotize Kenny with?

Sorry I'm late with my fuck you, but, better late than never. See you Sunday, or not. I just may be on the road with Kenny....or an ugly roadie, whatever.

And, I do not have a button for Bathtub Reflections yet, so you fuckers are off the hook for Sunday.


6 comments:

  1. THE FUCK??? I've sent you the goddamn button 20 goddamn times Auntie!

    Did you not like it whore? I can make you a different one!

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  2. That was some lyrical genius right there! If you were in the car with my grown daughter the other day when she tried to sneak one out you would have sued her...or been on the news for a homicide. Broccoli farmers be damned! On the bright side of Rachel Ray, she was in one of my magazines wearing her jeans tight rolled...oh could it be the return? That would just make my day!

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  3. Niece, I love the fucking thing. I'm just blog design stupid and don't know how to put the little code thingy on (underneath) it. You know, like your BSF button, so people that want to play can post the button.

    Donda, get that girl some fucking Beeno. lol

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  4. Some incredible insights there Dutch. I hope you have fun with Kenny.

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  5. Fabulous list! Better make that girl fix your button!

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  6. OMG tupperware lids!! WTF.... i have a bazillion tupperware.. cuz i used to sell the shit and NO fukin lids!!! WHERE did they go... they gotta be with all my fukin spoons.... and no i'm not using the spoons to shoot up.... i'm sure these kids are digging a hole to china somewhere in this damn yard... maybe... MAYBE i'll get lucky and fall in it, then i bet the tupperware will break my fall.... ya think? ;)

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