Sunday, October 3, 2010

A Bathtub, A New Blog and A Box of Wine

Alright everyone, listen up because I am only going to explain this shit once. The Royal Family has a NEW BLOG. It is a collaboration, and we are counting on all of you, yes you assclown, to make this work. You ask questions, we answer you back in the comment section. Easy, no?

Anyway, back to the reason you have all gathered here.

I have not been able to get the play along button thing together because I am seriously blog stupid. The Princess of Class, Trash and Sass made me a kick ass button, but I have no fucking idea where I saved it AND I have no idea how to put the code box underneath so you all can take the button and play. That means you are off the goddamn hook one more week.

Farm Aid concert was great, until the fucker 2 seats down puked his stupid drunk guts out. That is a story for another time.

I'm fucking exhausted and coming down with something. I'm achy, have chills, a sore throat, and my nose is snotty. Therefore, you poor fucks get a bunch of random shit I wonder about. Enjoy.

Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked any damn way.

If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?

If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

How come lemon dish washing liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings?

How come a cat's ass go up when you pet them?

At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just fucking redundant?

That's it, that is all I have for today. Happy Drunken Sunday assclowns, and DO NOT forget to visit the NEW BLOG.


  1. I'm following your new blog with both of my blogs :)
    Awesome questions!

  2. I love this weeks bathtub shit... see here's the deal.. no,... we don't have to swear on the bible..

    if there is any kind of Penetration, doesn't matter if your straight.. les..or like cats.. you are not a virgin..

    and no.. a stripper can not write breast implants off as a tax deduction.. however.. if she has breast cancer and has one removed..she can write off reconstruction surgery..

    anything else?

  3. LMAO! Dutchess, sometimes I would love to be inside your brain for a vacation. I would have so much fun with all your thoughts!