Bitches, Bra's, and Brownies

Hiya people. Dutchess here to give you the 411 and our current 10/20 before we jack it up and head it on down the line to continue ...

Copy that good buddy, come back?

Wait, you are not my CB radio. Dammit. OOOhhhh!!!!!GODDAMNIT! STOP STOMPING ON THE FUCKING BREAKS! The Queen was drunk when she hired the new bus driver. He may very well kill us all.

Anyway, everything is pretty fucking wild here on the road. There is drinking, bitching, pole dancing and even a nightly damn LIMBO contests. (Which, BTW, the Queen has won every night. That bitch is freakishly limber and could get a job with the goddamn Chinese Circus. Here is the proof:



We have a small grow house and easy bake oven on the top of the bus where I reside. I've been making my famous "Special Cookies and Special Brownies". (Ok, so I;ve outsourced the baking part to the kids bus. Fuck you! Child labor laws are not applicable on the Royal Bus, and someone has to work the liquor pulley and tend to the plants.

However, I need to rethink the recipe amounts. The kids are starting to scare the shit out of me.


I passed out last night and when I awoke this afternoon, the five pounds of Baked Brownies was gone, Princess was walking around singing Janis Joplin tunes and flashing the peace sign and the bus now looked like this...



We've had a few mishaps too along the way. We've invented a delivery system between the alcohol buss and the main bus. It's pretty fucking sweet, however, the boobies broke free and are all on the loose.

With all of the starting, stopping, and slamming on of the breaks, a few of us have a motherfucking black eye, or two.

AND, don't be fooled by the Gay Gators Dragged to his Death story. The fucking out of control boobies got together, fucked him up, and had a gator barbecue. It wasn't a total loss though, because Sir is a fucking expert on leather and made us all matching thongs. Someone better UPS us some bras before the boobies eat the children, If that happened, who would bake the goddamn brownies?.

OOOhh!!!! Looks like we've reached the exit to our next destination.



Peace out!