Sunday, November 14, 2010

A Drunken Bunch of Random

First, thank you all for stroking my.......... ego a bit. Y'all make me all warm & fuzzy inside... Or maybe it's the 5 rum punch drinks I've had. Whatever, either way, it feels nice.

Dammit, now I have to sit myself on the naughty step because my imagination is out of control. (yes, I watched Supernanny! Fuck you! Friday TV is for shit.)

On with the show.

It's Sunday, and that means it must be time for....
One Crazy Brunette Chick

I watch a lot of those crime shows...48 hours, CSI, Law & Order and etc... I could make it look like fucking Tinkerbell killed you. Just sayin'

Sometimes I just want to tell my Sister in law that I hope she gets diarrhea and can't get her pantyhose off.

Some people fall right the fuck off of the ugly tree and land in the stupid bush.

I need someone to help me find my weekend. One minute it was here, and the next it just up and disappeared. Bastard!

While skipping through the castle today, I started to sing "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine"...then I realized, NOPE, it was just the Xanax talking.

Therapy helps, but yelling obscenities is cheaper and fun to watch how people react.

My dream job would be driving the fucking KARMA bus.

Maybe I could get away with running around hitting people in the face with a stick while screaming, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS BEER-A-LICIOUS GET A GODDAMN GRIP YOU FUCKSTICK!"

If you say everything happens for a reason, one more time, don't be fucking shocked when I punch you in the goddamn throat and say "It must have happened for a reason, asshole".

The flying monkeys refused to take me somewhere exciting. I shall now feed them to the goddamn gators.

I'm taking the Spawn of Satan back to the hospital. They forgot to install the teenage mute button.

My fortune cookie said my life will be peaceful and happy. Ok, who gave the good drug to the fucking cookie?

Duct tape... makes me smile just thinking about it.

I wonder what would happen it I ran through Burger King screaming, "I'm the other white meat!"

Strap-on is no-parts spelled backwards. Coincidence?

And this whole post? was just more proof that a box of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the fucking world.

10 comments:

  1. great new look. and I'm totally with you on the crime shows. love them

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would love to see you driving the Karma bus.. that would be soooo cool..

    ReplyDelete
  3. You made me laugh so loud my husband thought i needed medical attention!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am linking up before my brain forgets! Love you Auntie!
    http://thismamashops.blogspot.com/2010/11/drunken-reflections-from-my-empty-brain.html

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Dazee, I agree. Dame Penis did a great job redecorating, huh?

    Only thing better than me driving the KARMA Bus would be you sitting in the co-driver seat. We would so fucking kick ass in that thing.

    Eschelle, I second that emotion.

    Anon, you should read the rest of the Royal Family and Staff. After that, you just may need medical attention.

    However, BEWARE: WE DO NOT RECOMMEND YOU READ ANY OF THE ROYALS WHILE EATING, DRINKING, OR IF YOU NEED TO PEE. WE CAN'T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY CHOKING INCIDENTS, RUINED COMPUTERS OR SOILED PANTIES.

    Thank you Dame! I can always count on you for drunken reflections. I also love love love the new makeover. You fucking rock blog design.

    ReplyDelete
  6. They don't call duct tape the handy man's secret weapon for nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I hate that "everything happens for a reason" bullshit. I subscribe to the "Shit Happens" theory. Sometimes shit just happens, for no particular reason at all. Life is random. Deal with it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love the new look, and I love your drunken reflections even more!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wolf, that's what I heard too!

    bluz, I agree

    Thanks McKenzie. Dame did it.

    ReplyDelete

Followers