Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Hello Asshats!

The Dutchess is not pleased, not pleased AT ALL. 

Peons, minions, and even my fucking family, (except The Duke), forgot my goddamn 45th birthday last Friday.

WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE!?
 WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING HELL???!!!

 Before I kick some hooker ass, I'm declaring an emergency time out.

I'm heading to the closet with my IPad to watch Netflix, while consuming a pan full of brownies, and a bottle of tequila.

BY MYSELF!

Too late to suck up now.  Carry on, ass munchers,

7 comments:

  1. You are ten years younger than I am.. I refuse to turn 55.. so you may not turn 45.. that is all asshat!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Jesus. The Queen had me so busy it just totally went into my mind, and back out. But then, I'm older than you dear Dutch.

    Even tho you said no happy birthday late wishes. Shut the fuck up and HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy Freaking Belated Birthday shitbrick!
    I am so sorry I forgot and yes I am sucking up. I have been swamped and I was not notified that we were having a year younger party.
    So here is a gift:
    1. Me not singing because it is not pretty. Trust me I just saved your ears.
    2. A pan of special brownies all nice and warm.
    3. A bottle of the happy pills to get the cranky out of your system.
    4. A hug from me and Sir!
    Love you Dutch!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Money's short, times are hard
    Here's your fucking Birthday card!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks ladies. but, I'm still no coming out of the bathroom And? I swear on my pan of brownies, I am 45.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Suck it up cupcake! You should be thanking us for refusing to celebrate your 45th.. means next year you get a do over! yea.. doesn't mean much right now, but wait until you are looking at the big 50... you get to put it off for an extra year...

    ReplyDelete

Followers