Tuesday, May 14, 2013

On The Road Again

Ah yes, the annual Royal Bus Tour is underway.

This is the time of the year that the Queen gets all spring feverish and shit and demands we all load up, get loaded, and hit the dusty trail.

She declared it was time for us to ride, drink, smoke and let the hookers be in charge of the road trip.

They decided we needed a new bus because the stench from the last  road trip has yet to come out of the leather seats.  This is what they came up with.

At least they stocked up on booze.

Then they pointed the bus toward Utah.  WTF?!  Stop the hooker bus!  Mormons don't like hookers!  I knew we would draw attention, and with the amount of brownies on this bus, we could end up in a Mormon jail for a long time.  Then someone said, "Don't worry Dutch!  We have it covered!"  Next thing I knew, this was hoisted up and strapped to the top of the bus.  Well played, Hookers, well played!

After a little..accident with a Mad Dog, we hit the road again.  I heard the hookers whispering, VIVA LAS VEGAS!

Last time a road trip took us through Vegas, it was not pretty

Holy fucking hell.  This will never end well.

Stay tuned and check out the other Royal Family Blogs for more updates.

~Until Next Time~


  1. I can not believe I woke up in Vegas this morning. Crazy ass bitches damn near got us life without parole the last time we were here.

    It was kind of funny watching them drag your drunken ass off the bus while you were screaming.. "I don't want to kill ugly hookers!"

    However, the breakfast buffet was pretty damn welcome after last nights ruckus on the road..

    Did I just see the cop frisk that male dancer? I'll be back. I gotta go check this shit out.

    1. I can't hear you through my seafood buffet haze. Or maybe it's the brownies.

  2. I swear...where your two minds go...is crazay. lol

  3. I'm just going to sit here grinning with my mimosa :p

    1. Mimosa's? You must share.

    2. Mimosas all around!!! Nothing better than a mimosa with your breakfast to start the day ;) - last time I was in Vegas it was a mortal sin not to ;)

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  5. Excuse me...tap...tap. I am not dead in the trunk. Just passed out. Can I come out and play now?