Patriotic Vajayjay? Just, NO!

With all of this flag business going on, I figured I'd throw my opinion in the ring.

There are lots of things I love: Rum punch, Kenny Chesney, Corona with a lime, the beach, my beloved island, Irish Coffee, and, of course, shiny things!

There are many things I hate, dislike, and find repugnant, and high on that list is American flags as bathing suits.

I'm all for being patriotic.  I love this country, warts and all.  I proudly display an American flag on my porch, support our constitution, inalienable rights, and have the utmost respect for our troops. However, some things just piss me off.

Today, I had to go to the store I loathe going to.  It's always crowded, there are only 4 registers open, EVER, and people are just fucking rude there, it rhymes with Walmart.  Now, everone knows it's not my favorite place, but seriously, where else can you get 487 rolls of toilet paper, a 20 gallon jug of laundry soap, ammo for the gun and a giant jar of beef jerky, all for under 30 bucks?

As I walked in the store, I was greeted by this on a sale rack:

Here’s the thing: the American flag isn’t even supposed to touch the ground! Did you know that the people handling the flag always wear gloves? Do you want to know why?

It’s a respect thing, asshole! If people have to wear gloves to touch the flag, I am pretty fucking sure rubbing your damn pleasure taco on it is NOT OKAY!

Like I said, I am all for freedoms and thankful for those that have fought and died to protect us.  BUT, perhaps while you are recreating a Girls Gone Wild type escapade while chugging beer from a fucking funnel, how about you wear something other than our nation’s colors? A corona bikini, or maybe something sinister airbrushed on those perky little ta-tas? Whatever, just leave Old Glory on the damn flag pole!

Hey Guys?  This request is for you all too.

Please don’t wear flag swimtrunks and have your saggy ass and wobbly man bits defiling the flag, dammit!

By all means. Celebrate. Get drunk on a plane, Watch fireworks on a boat... With beer... With fireworks and fucking sparklers for all I care.

However, for the love of Mom and apple pie, do NOT prance around in an American Flag bathing ensemble. I can’t fucking take it!

Insect World 1 - Dutchess 0

I hate bugs.  Well, butterflies and lightening bugs are ok, and dragonflies are kinda cool, but as a rule of thumb, all bugs suck.  If they cross my path, try to fly in my hair, (because they always do), or invade my castle, I will kill them.  Nope, I don't feel bad at all, so all of you tree hugging, -ants have feelings too- assholes, sit down.  Save it for someone who gives a shit, m'kay?

Today, the insects hated back.  Let me explain...

Where I live, we are lucky if we have 3 months of summer like weather.  Autumn is rainy, cold and I've had to put snowsuits under my kid's Halloween costumes some years.  Winter is harsh, grey, snowy and ass clenching cold.  Spring doesn't always show up, and when it does it can bring snowstorms, tornadoes, and monsoon like rain, all in the same day.  So, when Summer actually arrives, it also brings a shit load of bugs.  Spiders, bees, june bugs, mosquitoes, ticks, and so on.

This year, there seems to be a lot of hornets.  Those little assholes are sneaky, fast and mean.   The past week, they have been getting into the house, and they seem to congregate in the hallway between the kitchen and bathroom.  Today I killed 4. Seriously.

I have this super high-tech bug killer.  It is the finest electrocuting tennis racket that $10 can buy. I bought it last year because the carpenter bees were eating my deck.  Anyway, I think the battery is dying because it only mildly sparks and makes subtle flesh burning smells when I swat and connect with my victims. 

One of the hornets I killed today fell to the ground still squirming.  I picked him up with a paper towel, put him in the toilet and flushed.  DAMMIT!  The damn hornet and paper towel bobbed back up to the surface.   I flushed again and walked away.

I had a ton of shit, (no pun intended), to get done today, so, along with my 3 glasses of water, I had 2 extra cups of coffee this morning.  Exactly 11 minutes later, I had to pee. Coffee/water in, pee out and all that.

Well, I sat down, started to pee and then? THEN? I felt a sharp, very sharp, stab in my right ass cheek.

That freaking hornet? Hadn’t drowned and was out for motherfucking revenge! I’m guessing that the second time the tiny asshole went around the bowl didn't go down the hole, he floated on his paper towel raft, slowly gathering his strength plotting and prepping for battle. He somehow dragged his ragged,  mildly electrocuted, slightly waterlogged self to the inside of the fucking toilet bowl where I couldn’t see him, and then he fucking pounced.

The aftermath wasn’t pretty.  There may have been some screaming, shrieking, swearing and general mayhem. I also may have ever so slightly rammed my head into the wall as I leaped from my throne of torture in hornet escapism mode.

Of course, I used the zig zag pattern that someone told me I should use when I am trying to escape a predator. That may have only been in the case of a gun attack but at the time, I couldn’t quite think clearly.

So there I was chasing that fucking hornet with my granny panties around my knees as I screamed and flailed.

This time? That little asshole is dead for real.  I seriously already have a fear of toilets, so I ALWAYS look before I sit down.   I once read something about snakes slithering up through the pipes and biting people on the ass. But that hornet? Knew my fear, was crafty and hid.  Score one for the Insect World.  However, take heed you little fuckers, as that was just the battle.  I WILL win the fucking war! 

Well, after the pain in my right ass cheek lessens and the bump on my head goes down.

Like A Good Neighbor...

Guess what?     No!  Willie is NOT using my shed as a grow house!  NO!  I have not put up the  "Hookers "R" Us" "OPEN for Business" door sign!  I haven't even been found passed out naked in the front bird bath while yammering about the fucking sky falling and the pool shrinking!  Your guesses suck tits, people!

"I have new neighbors!  Yep!  That's right!  Brand spankin' new neighbors!  Now, I know what you're thinking,

"OH HOLY HELL! NO ONE WARNED THEM!"
"ABORT!! ABORT!! DON'T BUY THE HOUSE, PEOPLE!
RUUUNNNNNN, YOU DUMB FUCKS, RUUUUUNNNNN!

I know, I know, but hang on!  History doesn't have to repeat itself, right?  I'm the simpler, kinder, changed by life, Dutchess.  I am the Dutch that can learn from history instead of being confined by it!  I can be informed, and empowered by it instead of being dictated by it!  This is going to be GREAT!  I'm finally going to be a good neighbor!

I cut a pretty bouquet of fresh cut Peonies from my front flower bed, wrapped them in a pretty bow, and went and welcomed them to the neighborhood.  I smiled, made nice, and I was charming, dammit!  I was feeling pretty great about my new self! 

Well, a couple days later, the wife of the new neighborhood BFF's knocked on the door.  She noticed my grandbaby playing outside earlier and figured him to be close to the same age as her darling rug rat.  She went on to say that she really needed to run to the grocery store and wondered if I'd be interested in watching kid dynamo for an hour.

SHUT UP!    I can hear you laughing, asshats!  These people don't know old me!  I have too changed!  I even took down the pentagram, and the sign over the door that says we keep and eat all girl scouts whom dare enter!

So, of course I said yes!  She then tells me her little angel is gluten free, and she doesn't believe in sugary soda.  The hell?  Believe in it or not, bitch, the soda exists!  But, I smile, say sure, and wave buh-bye.

Ok, here I am going to stop and explain that I am old.  I'm not even sure what the fuck gluten free means, but I decide a snack is in order.  What better way to get to know a child than to feed them?  Genius.  I called for my grandson, and he and rug rat sit at the breakfast table. 

I decide Kool-aid isn't a soda, and grab a couple boxes and hand them to the boys.  The phone rang, and it was some asshole telemarketer.  I swear, I had my back to the boys for 3.437 seconds and I turn around to ask the boys if they would like an apple, because an applies healthy, right?

Holy Fuck!  The grandson and his angelic rug rat sidekick have managed to get the lid off of a box of Costco cupcakes and have crammed as many as they could into those darling little piranha mouths in some whacked out competition!

I glance at this once angelic kid who now is in a wild eyed eating frenzy with a face smeared in frosting muttering something about how could his commie bitch parents never have told of this bliss!

Well, fuck!  I don't think those are gluten free, and maybe the kool-aid wasn't such a good idea.

Needless to say, when Mom picked up kid dynamo, he was at the height of his sugar rush and kinda reminded me my Uncle Shorty.  A tiny, sugared up, flesh colored blur of fury with incoherent stuttering, and swearing, pinging off the walls.  Sorry!

I think my neighborhood BFF status just lost an F.

Pass the wine, Please.  This good neighbor shit is hard!

WHOA! It's Been A Whole Year?!.

Well.....here I am...dipping my toe into this water...again, and I'm not sure exactly where it's going after that. 

So many things have happened since I lived, breathed, wrote, shared and put my heart and soul into this place.  This blog, my own little corner of the world, started at one place, and ended somewhere entirely different.  I loved every single twisty little turn. 

Then social media took over.  Let's face it, it really is a fast way to connect with other people and keep up with their daily lives.  The problem is, it's not really a connection, as much as it is a fly-by.  It's much easier to post a picture with a small caption or quip than it is to have to tap into your creative side and paint the wordy picture of the thoughts and moments you wish to share. 

I've also had life changing events happened in the past year which, out of necessity, forced me to push the writer, funny, creative sides of me, to the end of the line. Although I love fun and spontaneity; change, grief and loss are 3 things this Dutchess doesn't do well, and it has been a long, blue season. 

However, I think I'm finally seeing a light...a realization that I like to write...I need to write.  Writing has always been in my bones...in my soul.

I'm not sure where this is going, but I do know that I am entering the next chapter of life, of this blog, and with a deeper understanding of myself, the ones I love, and the world. 

I'm not always going to be funny, but I am going to bring back "We Snapped", which I will explain at a later time.  I'm also thinking about bringing "Reflecions From A Bathtub" back once a month too.  I think you will still see you're crazy, wild,  Dutchess and her stories of her Royal Family, but I hope you also get to see, know and like, the other sides of her too. 

Mostly, I just want to write again, ad I sure hope you all come along for the ride, but no pressure, either way m'kay?

Now, I have to go, I'm late for my bubble bath and wine.

Willie stole the weed

Willie stole my weed! Not sure when the fucker got in my castle.  I arrived home from my vacation grabbed the magic jar only to find out that fucker was empty.  Bastard did not even leave me enough to inhale fumes from!

I grabbed the jar and headed out back the castle to restock from my greenhouse.  Fucking Queen's gators had a little surprise for me.  I thought they looked a little too happy but assumed the bitch had fed them some dumbass that stumbled through the kingdom.  When I turned the corner I realized I was wrong.  Those asswipes had totally cleaned out the greenhouse.   There isn't even an odd seed I can use to start over.

Never in my life have I bitched at the Queen over her need to keep Willie by her side.  Now, the fight is on!  That bitch has to get Willie under control, or I'm gonna beat her ass with her own beer tab crown!  I will beat then shove her crown up her ass!  See if those hookers want to fight over it after it's been there!

So, if you wondered why I've been silent, it's because I have been plotting my sweet revenge on that bitch if at the end of her 30 days notice she has not gotten that fucker under control.

Our Kingdom Is In Mourning

There is no funny here today, my friends.

It is with a heavy heart, troubled mind and tear stained cheeks that I come to tell you that The Royals lost a member of our family last night.

Our sweet HOUSE MOM was taken from us far too early.  I refuse to say she lost her battle with cancer, because she fought harder than anyone I have ever known.  I believe she simply ran out of time.

This one hurts, and even though we knew she was living on borrowed time, we are all stunned, numb, and devastated.

Go HERE to see how this beautiful woman came into our lives.

Go HERE TO SEE WHO THIS WOMAN WAS AND HOW SHE TOUCHED SO MANY LIVES.

Go HERE TO LEAVE HER FAMILY LOVE.  This damn disease took her from a loving husband and 2 precious little boys.

I hate this motherfucking disease.  I hate everything it does to the individual and their family and friends.

RIP sweet Kelly.  You will be so very missed.

Go, right now, hug your loved ones, tell them you love them.  Then, say a prayer, send a thought, or just hold Kelly's family in your heart.

~Until Next Time~
xoxo

We Snapped...Fourth of July Style

WOW!  We have snapped is 7 weeks old today.  I'm such a proud Dutchess!

Anyhoo...In honor of the upcoming holiday, I thought a holiday edition of We Snapped was in order.  Get the words, grab the badge, put up your pics and link up!  Can't wait to see what you all come up with!

This week's words are:
SUMMER FUN....PATRIOTIC....COOKOUT.....FIREWORKS




SUMMER FUN
We spend most of the summer in the pool, and that is always fun! Cannonball!!!

PATRIOTIC
Our little town has a Fourth of July, Civic Veterans Parade every year.  It's always the week before the Fourth, even if the holiday falls on the week-end...crazy ass town

COOKOUT
My hands down all time favorite summer cookout item...Kabobs!

FIREWORKS
There is just something I love about a simple little sparkler!

Ok gang, now it's your turn!  Do your thing, and don't forget to link up below, and leave me a message in my comments.

Have a safe, drunken, fun and happy holiday!

~~Until Next Time~~
XOXO

We Snapped...Week 6

Did you snap?  If not, grab the badge, post your pictures and link up!  Our Queen Picked the words this week, and they are... NomNom (food), Sunsets, Clouds, andToes.  Have fun!

NomNom...Did someone say dessert?

Sunsets....My favorite time of day...Especially in the Caribbean.

Clouds...This was from a very destructive storm in 2011.  Took out most of the hundred plus year old trees down by the lakefront.  We were without power for days.

Toes...I'm always a happy girl when my toes are in the sand!

Link up below, and thanks for playing along!

~~Until Next Time~~
xoxo

I'm A Royal and I've Snapped! Week 5

It is that time again...

Week 5 words were chosen by our favorite future world domination candidate

Major Sunshine

They are...Splash, Funny Face, Dads and Irony.

Here We Go!

SPLASH The warm Caribbean waters splashing round sun warmed legs.

FUNNY FACE Dirty messy and funny!  This picture cracks me up every time I see it!

DADS Someone once said that only the best Dad gets promoted to a Grandpa

.

IRONY

Ironically, on the day it is going to be in the 80's, the "summer snow", (cottonwood trees shedding) is coming down like crazy.  We just can't get away from snow, even on an 80 degree day.

Well, there you have it gang, Week 5 of We Snapped with the Royals.  Head over to
QUEENIE"S place, tell her you played and hook up with the linky.

~~Until Next Time~~
xoxo

The Girls Are Super Freaks!

While I was passed out drunk, busy, the other day, The Queen decided to wander off by herself and roam the world wide web.  That?  Never fucking turns out well.  She found a few MEME's and, for shits and giggles, decided to join in.

I've told her a million godamn times to stay on our side of the tracks, but the bitch never listens!  I'm not sure of the who, what, or where, but when I finally came to found The Queen, she was all excited and mumbling something about flags, freaks, and Royal Style MEMEs.

After an extra large mug of Irish coffee and a brownie, I understood what she was rambling about.

You see, after she participated in a few normal people memes on the Internet, The Royal Family was asked to participate, but to do it Royal Style, and um...with a different link up.

In other words, the rest of the blog-o-sphere loves to read The Royal Family, but they don't want to be seen playing in the same skanky sandbox with us.

At first I was a bit pissed off.  Dammit!  We're cool!  We have kick ass shoes!  We have alcohol, hookers, and goodies! (Oh My!)  What's not to fucking like?  Why don't you assholes want everyone to know you like us?

Then, mid-whine, I remembered that even next to the Insane AssClown Posse, we tend to come off as some rowdy ass cray-cray stoner freaks that drink too much, say too much and have turned cussing into a motherfucking art form!

We are fun, but you can't bring us to work, or to meet your family.  Hell, we're legally required to register with 3 different states when we all get together, and The Queen  and I have been banned from Texas and Utah for life!

OK, you win.
 
Without further adieu, I bring you Freaky Friday Fill In--Royal Style.

1.  I woke up this morning only to find I had overslept and missed my secret brownie spice delivery because the motherfucking alarm clock didn't go off.
2.  As I jumped out of bed and ran for the kick ass Batmobile so I could catch up with the asswipe of a delivery man,  I noticed that the godamn Wienermobile was parked behind me.  Fuckity-fuck!
3.  Later, when the phone rang, it was Clyde asking me to bring the Wienermobile and my drunken stoner ass back to the castle.
4.  Finally, after  driving the Wienermobile around all morning in my pajamas, while rocking some crazy ass bed head, looking for my shitty secret spice delivery driver, I found out that the House Hookers thought it would be fun to prank my ass.  They reset my freaking alarm clock two hours ahead of the real time!
5.  So I turned the Wienermobile around, put the pedal to the metal and hauled ass back to the castle.  With my motherfucking Wiener skidding around the corner of the driveway on two wheels, and my ass hanging out the window, I told them to kiss my hairy ass, sleep with one wonky eye open and never ask for another brownie!


TAG!  You're it!  CLICK HERE FOR THE FREAKY FILL IN DIRECTIONS.  Grab the badge, fill in the blanks, and leave a comment on The Queen's blog so we can stalk check out your Freaky Friday Fill Ins.

~~Until Next Time~~
xoxo

We SNAPPED Week 4

It's that time again, so let's get to it.

Grab the Badge

<a href="http://majorsunshine.blogspot.com/p/meet-royals.html" target="_blank"><img alt="wtfo" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6JD-qMUMwTnILguJ4o-SJchOaTmtST5OpxOM7vpuwPoZyEmN1aNXeM0DlOWtVcafa14eVvE1JvyiiGofIPxYCRJ_aaZgkEYm6JrJQhZ1UZE7jvSamIPuiPP7IdPpsxXX9cF14Y9L8Lbs/s1600/we+snapped.gif"/></a>

Select your pictures for ......
TREE MAGIC...There is something magical about trees in the fall around here.

HISTORY..The Annaberg Sugar Plantation, USVI.  So much history there

NATURE CLUTTER...Cactus, rocks, ocean, green plants all cluttered together and havin' a ball!

ARCHITECTURE... I truly love all of the old ruins on the island of St. John.  For these buildings to be still standing since the 1700's speaks mountains of their architectural designs.

Now, click the little blue button below and link up yo!

~~Until Next Time~~
xoxo
 

Dear Royals, I Told You So!

disclaimer:  Royals love new people and new blog-friends, (old ones too)!  We're glad you're here, and look forward to getting to see your shoe collection know you.  We have no expectations of you, except for you not to act like an asshole.  We have no rules to follow, no conditions for hanging around, and are just plumb happy to see you folks.  That said, most of this post is directed at family members with Royal titles, not old or new friends.

Well, well, well.  It looks like The Mad Katter is a damn good host.  She had 7 people, other than herself, link up for week 3 of "WE SNAPPED!"  That makes me almost fucking happy...

I said almost.  Why, you ask?  Well, although I am thrilled to have new people come out to play with us,
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi, hi, hi!!
Joy Christi
The Vent Line
Ordinary girl
We LOVED your pictures and can't wait to see what y'all come up with next!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some, that call yourselves ROYALS, have once again let me down. Yep, I'm looking at YOU..

As a member of the Royal Family, you were lovingly brought into this den of iniquity Royal fold, with open arms.  We have loved, laughed, supported, cried with, helped, encouraged and stood by you.  Being part of this Royal  Family brings great rewards, real friendships, and a smidgen of responsibility.

While we don't expect you to attend every meeting, support every action or always agree with us.  We do expect you to always bring booze, always be truthful, and occasionally be available to participate in a few Royal gatherings and conversations.

We really do understand that everyone is busy and can't always participate, however, you could at least give it the old fucking college try!

"WE SNAPPED" with The Royals, is going into it's 4th week.  Did you know that you have had 21 days, or 504 hours and, if you want to count minutes, 30,240 fucking minutes to get involved?

If you can't find time to post ONE measly, simple, picture meme in that amount of time, (because no one expects you to do it every time), then fuck you.  Yep, I'm going there.

I've asked nicely, I've begged, bribed, cried, demanded and finally issued an ultimatum.  You (only when it's convenient for you to be), Royals will now incur my wrath.  I fucking told you there would be consequences.

You have hereby been evicted from the Royal Castle.  We have taken the time to remove your nameplate and other personal items from the castle.  You can pick your shit up at the motherfucking castle guard shack located just outside of the castle gates.

If you happen to be missing a pairs of shoes, fuck you, too bad, call it a service fee. You can thank The Queen that your shit didn't end up in the gator pond.  She is way more tolerant than I am.

Being a member of the Royal Family is a fucking privilege, and I have just revoked your Royal license and title.  If you want it reinstated, then fucking step up to the godamn plate!  If you don't, that is okay, it was nice to know you, really.  We will wish you no ill will and nothing but the best.  However, your Royal status will forever be history.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a brighter note, Yours Truly, will be hosting week 4 of "WE SNAPPED" this coming Monday (tomorrow).  Just so you have an extra day to think about it, I'm giving you the words now.  Your welcome.

TREE MAGIC...HISTORY...NATURE CLUTTER (wtf?)...ARCHITECTURE.

I didn't choose the words, I'm just the host.  If you think you have a cool theme or a few kick ass words you'd like to see on "We SNAPPED", just drop me, or any other Royal family member, an e-mail, or come tell us over at the Royal Island.  We'd LOVE to hear your ideas!  Now, get to snapping, tell your friends, and come back to link up tomorrow.

~Until Next Time~
xoxo

The Royals Have Snapped! Week 3

Ok assholes, you have officially pissed me off.

THE QUEEN and I are the official Heads/Elders/Commandants/whatthefuckever of this Royal family.  As such, we have every right to be cruel heartless dictator bitches with kick ass shoes, believe in listening to our whining-bitching-moaning-complaining lovely girls and their dreams, ideas, suggestions, and glowing STD reports.

We listen, and drink, hear you, and smoke, do everything in our power trying to make all Hookers and other Royal Family members as happy as Willie on a 4 day motherfucking Mexican bus tour...and drink.

All The Queen and I heard for months was,

• "We miss you Crazy Old Bats, when are you coming back to blogging on a regular basis?"  
• "We need to get the Royals back to the crazy, drunken, silly, snort worthy posts of yore."  
• "We don't want any more mama, twatwaffle, baby daddy, blah blah blah drama (thank fucking tits because we're too fucking old for any drama and it ruins my buzz, er, blog mojo)...we want something fun we can all do together!

We listened, we put our drinking, um, I mean, our THINKING caps on, and came up with a kick ass idea.  An idea that every Royal, (no matter what your roll or level of involvement as a Royal is), could participate in.  

We know you hookers are pretty busy.  You all have lives, kids, jobs, johns, shoes to buy and other things going on in your life, and that makes time precious.  So, we knew we wanted to do something relatively easy, not very time consuming, and even something that required very little writing, because sometimes, just thinking about writing a blog post is too damn much work.

Then we noticed something.  We noticed that EVERYONE is taking and posting many pictures in many different venues, throughout the week.  Some of you use Facebitch, some use Instagroan, or Twatter, and even Keek.  However, all of you seem to post some type of picture(s).

Then after a bottle of gin and half a pan of fucking brownies, it hit us. Eureka!  We've got it!

A weekly Picture Post type of MEME, with rotating hosts, on Monday of each week. Motherfucking brilliant!

We asked for ideas for a Name, themes, rule suggestions and etc.  After gathering all the info and intel, we finally named it, gave it an awesome badge made by The Major, and got excited about this brand new, Royal venture.

"We Snapped!" With The Royals was born.  We were so pumped about finding a way for The Royals, and others, to again connect as a family through our blogs once a week.  We thought you all were excited too,

However, for the past 2 Monday's, The Queen and I have invited, asked, begged and threatened you all to come and play this new game with us. It's easy, quick, fun, and all you simply have to do is check out the week's theme/words, look through and use the pictures you take or have taken with you computer, smart phone, Ipad, tablet, and etc,,and post them on your blog with a small word or blurb next to the picture. Easy peasy, no?

Well, apparently not.

The Queen kicked our new venture off the FIRST WEEK.  FIVE DAMN PEOPLE PLAYED.

I, your darling Dutchess, hosted WEEK TWO,  Again, FIVE MOTHER FUCKING PEOPLE PARTICIPATED! WTF?!!

Look here, fuckers.  The buck stops here, and I'm giving you ONE more chance to get your shit together, post, link up, and play nicely, dammit!    
 This is week 3 and our very own MAD KATTER has graciously offered to host this week's Royal, "We Snapped".  Go get the words for this week, grab the godamn badge, slap a few pictures up, and link the fuck up at Kat's place.
Like this...


This Week's Words Are

SHADOW...
Nice cool drink in the late afternoon sun.   Slluuuurrrp!

FORGOTTEN...
Sugar Cane Plantation Ruins.  Built in the 1700's.  Forgotten, but not gone.

TEXTURE...
Spring Apple Blossoms Here..

REFLECTION...
I caught this reflection in The Duke's sunglasses while on vacation.  One of my favorite pictures!

Publish your masterpiece, Link up over at THE MAD KATTER'S PLACE

That's it!  Now go...do it...final warning...there will be consequences!

~~Until Next Time~~
xoxo

I'm Gorgeous, Be Jealous!

Welcome to my refurbished digs!  It's pretty fucking amazeballs in here, huh?

It's so fucking awesome in here, I might just move out of the real world, and move right into here. (because really?  the real world sucks big donkey balls right now) .

I could sit in here with a huge pan of brownies, and a stupid smile on my face while incessantly  repeating, "Duuude!  THIS IS SO FUCKING SAWEEET!".

Don't judge.  If you were this gorgeous, you'd look at your stuff all day too.  Not THAT stuff, perv!

I have to thank my incredibly smart/sweet/talented Niece.  She is not only a busy Mom and wife, but she also took The Queen on vacation, committed murder on a playground, (or some such shit), dodged a tornado or two on the roadtrip home, and is constantly continuing her quest for world domination.  I know, right?  The kid is on fire! (in a good way).

Somewhere, in the midst if all that shit, she managed to hear me whining about my ratty wallpaper and designed some new artwork, made a new Dutch badge and even fluffed the godamn pillows in here!

Everything looks so pretty! ( DUUUUDE! SAWEEET!)

I heart her so much, I don't even mind that she shanghaied my pretty pink sparkly stilettos!

~~Until Next Time~~
xoxo

We Snapped A Little Late

Ok gang, it is once again, time for the Royal Picture Show.

Don't know what that is? Then 30 fucking lashes with a wet noodle! And? 100 lashes and no fucking brownies for you Royals that didn't participate last week. Do you people think we do this shit for ourselves?

Well, ok, we do, do this shit for our own amusement, but when we open our sandbox, we expect you to play, dammit!

Anywhoo, there are very few rules to this game. !. Put up the badge

2. Follow the chosen theme or words

3. Use your own photos, old or new, just don't steal from the world wide web

4. Link up

Simple, yes? Then let's get to it.

Here is the badge...

The words for this week

CREEPY

EXCITING

MYSTERIOUS

AIR

Challenging, huh? Well, let's do it

CREEPY...This is our cat. I hate cats, and hate ticks. Ticks creep me the hell out.

EXCITING...nothing, and I mean NOTHING excites me more than seeing this sexy man in person. Love me some Kenny.

MYSTERIOUS.....Who's behind the mask

AIR....as in airport because this one was hard.

If you want to host next week's SNAPPED or suggest a theme, leave me a comment.
NOW LINK UP BITCHES!